Mind and body connection…

I had a fabulous session with Jennica!  She really is a fabulous human.  We did a NEUROJENIC yoga sequence first that focused on my fabulous feet.  Namely my fascia. From beginning to end it was so wonderful in my body.  My body responded well and my feet and ankles ate it all up.  It was like my body was saying…YAHOOOOO! 

I am healing through this training and I am so grateful.  I believe all this SHADOW WORK will help me to become a person who can truly help others to heal themselves.  What I know at this juncture in my life is that Healing is done together.  The healing does not just show up and heal you.  YOU must be willing and open to healing yourself.  No amount of healing will help a closed off person/body.  You can fight it all you want to, but the truth of it is…to heal you must feel and you must be open to understanding that your mind and body are connected.

Our connection to others is so important as well.  We are wired that way.  That is why I am so happy to have such great support from my friends and my husband.  I am beyond grateful for it.  I just need to learn to reach out quicker.  I don’t need to sit in my shit for three days before I reach out to a friend, who I know will listen and not judge.

Since I started TRE I have always just let my body do its thing.  I loved that and I still LOVE it.  What my body was craving and now I understand more about this!

My body was craving something…yearning is more like it.  It was yearning for a subtle tremoring.  I am always big.  My friends can attest to that!  LOL!  My body was being big and moving a lot and healing and fabulous.  I let it do its thing up until this session. 

When I am with a facilitator, normally Lindsay or Laureen I go deep and they assist me in getting me to those subtle tremors.

This time it was me with a facilitator, but with Jennica via the internet.  She was there and watching every little thing, but she let me explore and helped me to SEE/LISTEN/FEEL what I was looking for.  I feel safe with her and now I am finding more safety within myself.  I feel like Jennica got to witness this transformation in real time with me! 

What happened was that I really was able to listen to what my body needed and move in such a way as to get those tremors that I was yearning for.  Very subtle, very fabulous and soft.  So much what my body is needing right now in my healing.

I know that when I put my feet on the ground and bring my knees up, not quite touching, maybe slightly the tremoring sensations in my body are amazing.  I feel them through my arms all the way down to my fingers.  I feel my nervous system/my energy moving into those spaces to create room where it was once filled with crud.  I am very still.  I am very quiet.  It is not loud.  It is not a dynamic movement.  But y’all…it is so much beautiful energy!! 

What I take from this step is that my connection to myself is growing.  My connection to my body is growing.  My trust in myself and my inner child is growing.  I see now that a month ago I would probably not have been able to trust myself yet.  My inner child is feeling safer.  My nervous system is feeling calmer.  My trust in myself is getting much stronger.

It is amazing to me to see this happening in real time with my own self. 

As a yoga teacher I love to watch others grow in their practice.  I see it all of the time.  I see the shifts, the changes, the letting go, the fighting, then letting go again.  I love watching the transformation.  I feel very blessed to be a part of the yoga community.

Right now I am witnessing myself in the same way.  Just as in yoga…the ups, the downs, the holding on, the letting go, the anger, the love, the releasing, the hanging on by my finger tips. 

To spell this out even more…

I took ‘control’ (I do not like this word) in the session.  I listened to my mind and body and we connected unlike we had before.  I was able to trust myself enough to say okay I like this, my body likes this and now I am going to ‘contain’ (Jennica’s word-I like a lot better)  this for a while until it is time to move on.

It was as if I was now online for the ride as well.  As a team.  Myself and my body and mind are now working together and creating and healing as a team.  I can ‘hold’ a tremor if it feels good in my body and see where it goes.  This teamwork is new for me and showing me my level of trust with myself is growing!  YAHOOOOOOOOOO….

AND AGAIN…YAHOOOOOOOOO….lol!

I felt so many sensations in my body during the session, but that subtle energy moving through my body is so peaceful.  I feel like I could stay in that space for an hour and just breathe as my own energy/nervous system learns to regulate itself and heal those parts in my body that need it.

I spoke of my inner child at the end of the session and wow I still feel it so true for me right now.  My nervous system/my inner child is letting go and I am letting go…little by little…step by step…she feels safe/nervous system safe…all connected ... .more healing is coming for the rest of my life!  LOL, but that is okay.  I don’t need to think about that right now.  What I see is growth in WHO I AM. 

I am working on coming up with a word between CONTROL and CONTAINMENT that explains this connection.  Both of those words make sense in what I am conveying here, but there is another word…and it will come to me when it is time…

I am very happy

I am growing

I am understanding