Recap after module 1 of tre/neurogenic yoga training…

Sunday 11/30/25

Wow, where do I begin?

I went into this training knowing that I was going to be in it.  No matter if I was scheduled to work or not.  I knew that it would all work out, because this was what I was going to do.  My spirit just knew it!  I knew it from before I completed my first session with Laureen.  After the first class I realized how powerful our bodies were made and how genetically we are all made to process trauma the same.  All of us.  All of us humans are made to process this way and that we learn to stuff it all.  We do this for different reasons of course. 

• We don’t want to scare the children.

• We don’t want to seem weird.

• We are afraid of what others think.

That is just to name a few.

I learned that Dr. Berceli, PHD spent 20 years in a war zone and suffered his own trauma and through it all he observed something very significant from it all.  The children were different from the adults.  The children tremored.  The children shook.  They hadn’t been conditioned to care what others thought about them, they just did what they needed to do. They allowed themselves to shake because they were scared/frightened.  They did exactly what our bodies are designed to do through trauma-shake.

The theory that he came up with was that if our bodies contract when we are in fear/trauma, then our bodies must have a way of bringing homeostasis back into the body as well.  Our natural state before the trauma occurred.

Our bodies will respond to stress in the same way every time.  Regardless of what that stress is.  It can be minor stress or major stress.   

We all have stress in our lives to one degree or another.  I was 30 years old when 9/11 occurred.  Anybody who was alive back then will remember watching the TV for days and days.  Watching all the terror that was happening in NYC.  This is trauma.  Trauma is not something that just happens to YOU.  Trauma comes from watching that TV for days and  seeing it over and over again.  Reliving it everyday.  This is trauma as well.

Before training started I knew that I had trauma in my life.  Who hasn’t had any trauma?

I had spent most of my life in 12 step meetings for children of alcoholics, going to counselors, going to church, and whatever else I could do to help myself be better.

I started yoga at 40 and learned that I needed to breathe and feel and be present.  I became a teacher and taught these things and still teach them. 

My life was preparing me for where I am today.

I realized that all of that was not for nothing.  I had healed and grown and learned about myself.  This is very true!

What I didn’t realize is how I was reacting every day of life from wounds that were still in my body.  My entire personality, it seems, is a nervous system response to how I was raised and how I learned to survive.

I am grateful for this survival girl in me.  She got me here.  But I don’t need to survive anymore.  I am not that little girl anymore who needs to be afraid all of the time and protect herself from the boogie man.  The boogie man is real by the way.

So here I am in my fifties realizing as I go through this training that my wounds control my life.  I didn’t realize this at first.  It was like a mac truck hit me….BOOM!  What the hell shit is this?

As I have been tremoring for about 8 months now or maybe a little longer I realize that my nervous system is not the same.  My responses are not the same.  My brain is being rewired and I have more peace than I have ever had in my body and mind.

I have cried and cried over things that have happened when I was a little girl and into my teenage years.  Things I never did cry about.  In fact I laughed about them, because I had no idea how to deal with the pain inside of me.

I am still in fight or flight mode, but not as much.  I am healing as we go through this training. 

When I go into a session by myself or with others I am amazed every time.  I am amazed at my body.  I am amazed that the creator put a built in mechanism in our bodies to heal ourselves.  This goes for all animals as well.  They do the same thing.  Humans just learned to stuff it all like I stated above.

I am like a big kid right now exploring it all. 

I love my sessions with Laureen and Lindsay, and I love my sessions alone.  I love the group sessions as well.  They all bring a different level of healing through each practice.

Sometimes I do yoga before a session, sometimes I do the 7 TRE exercises before a session, and sometimes I go right into it.  My body knows exactly what it needs to do.  I do not need to prepare much for myself.

I have learned that I had absolutely no connection to my body at all before this training.  Of course, I didn’t realize this.  I just pushed myself and disciplined myself to do what I thought was best in my brain, not what was best for my body.  I have learned to listen to my body now instead of the BS I feed myself about having to always be doing something.  Sometimes the body just needs to rest.  Sometimes it needs to stretch.  Sometimes it needs to push.  The thing is, for me personally, I never paid attention to this.  I was always just ON!

This entire process up till now.  This deep dive into myself, is exactly what this was.  AND IT AIN’T PRETTY.  But it is always BEAUTIFUL.  I am coming back to who I have always been.  I have always been Eileen, but I was Eileen operating from my wounds.  Eileen now is not solely operating from her wounds anymore.  She observes herself and asks herself why I just behaved that way?  Why is my nervous system riled up?

This new Eileen puts those boundaries up a lot faster.  This Eileen doesn’t laugh when she feels uncomfortable and just lets the person continue to disrespect her.  This Eileen could care less about keeping the peace anymore.  This Eileen is alive and real in this moment and is more true to herself than she has ever allowed herself to be.

Why?

Because of this phenomenal healing that Dr. Berceli has brought to humanity.

Because I am doing the work.

Because I am feeling it all.

Because I am observing myself.

Because instead of reacting like my nervous system wants to, I stop and take a breath…this breath right here is where the gift is by the way.  This breath in between is where the nervous system is saying WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?  My system is used to the automatic…it is comfortable here…our nervous system will take comfortable hell over uncomfortable heaven any day.  Read that again….

This space in between is the way that I am reshaping my nervous system.  Teaching it to learn a new way.  Little steps at a time so my inner child knows she is safe.  This is what I am understanding now.  The space in between the automatic and the action.  That space is new and that is how everything changes.

My daily life has changed.  My relationship with my husband has changed overnight.  My relationship with myself is completely different-more loving and compassionate to me!  My work life has changed.  I am not as stressed out as I used to be.  I do have a stressful job, but I don’t react exactly the same way anymore. 

I still have much work to do, but I am so grateful to have found this healing.

I cannot wait to help others find the same for themselves.

One last thing…

I realize that authenticity is where it is at.  Authenticity doesn’t mean perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it means being real.  I understand that for me to be a fabulous facilitator I must first understand myself and my wounds.  If I do not, then I cannot and will not be able to assist another to see themselves.  To offer them a safe space.  To bring peace in a room full of people, I must first have peace within myself.

Until next time.