A messy session tonight…

The best way I can describe tonight’s session is messy and disorderly, but I am smiling while I type this because I am okay with that and that is why the photo for this journal is of a messy kid who is smiling and fabulous and I love it.

I am tired, yes.  I am still trying to work out my schedule of sessions while I am working, which is very hard working for 7 days 12-13 hrs a day.  If my sessions are messy then so be it.  I am more than fine with that.  My body knows I am tired and yup I struggled with letting go this evening, but that is just today and I don’t have to give a reason to it, but I can love myself through it.  Be like that messy little kid!

I had some good up and down movements with my body and hip circles, especially on my left side, but most of all I believe today’s session was to just let it be whatever the heck it is and smile.  I feel good inside and I have a big smile on my face.  I could feel myself going to the place of frustration, because I felt messy and disorderly after work, but the choice is to go there and be frustrated?  Or choose to live in the moment of it all and let it just be what it is tonight. 

I have become much more calm since I started doing the sessions consistently.  So much so that I talked about it on a video and posted it.  My husband has made a comment as well.  Well, here I am tonight feeling calm and letting things be.  For me, that is very awesome. 

My nervous system is changing and I can feel it in my body.  I feel different.  I feel more peaceful.  I feel at ease. 

My brain feels different!  LOL!  It is not as crazy.  I do not mean in my thoughts, but that is a part of it.  It feels like the circuits are coming back that have been gone for so long and the wiring is coming back together.  That is the best way I can describe it.  I see differently and that is hard to explain.  Things are clearer and more defined and have more purpose.  My relationship with my husband is remarkably different than it was two weeks ago. 

My true self is here.  She may go back in from time to time but I see her and she sees me and we are integrating and it is fabulous. 

I love where I am right now, even after a messy and disorderly session I am more me than I have been in a very long time. 

I am thankful for TRE..

I am grateful for the eyes to see and understand…

I am grateful for myself…I am here to do something important, we all are, but I understand this differently now. 

To do what I am here to do…I have to be who I have always been…

I have to feel it all…

I have to be here with no masks…

And shine like the stars in the sky….

Good night…